Spiderman in India.

Spiderman-3 is a nice combo of special effects, logic, emotions and a love triangle. In Indian lingo Spiderman-3 is a complete Paisa Vasool movie. Spiderman is portrayed as an omnipotent guy, savior of lives, rescuer from difficult situations and a messenger of goodwill.

I was enjoying all the action in the movie with my friends Shishir and Kartik ( Weirdo – Given n number of choices for solving a problem Kartik has the unmatched innovative power of brandishing the most weird (n+1)th way for solving the same problem. It is assumed that the already proposed n ways encompass all the weird ways a normal human being can think of .). Though Weirdo enjoyed all the special effects in the movie, he subjected Spiderman to excoriation by pointing out Spiderman’s gross limitations. The engineer within me and weirdo came alive when Weirdo triggered the discussion on the topic “Spiderman in India” and when we fantasized Spiderman actually working/operable in India. We imagined the exact replica of Spiderman helping out in decreasing the crime rate and saving lives of people in India. And that was the time when the limitations in Spiderman were starkly evident to us. Following points encapsulate the reasons for Spiderman being non-efficacious in India:

1) Absence of skyscrapers: Spiderman can’t get fortified sky scrapers like the ones in NY on which he can sling his web for flying. Even if he finds some in cities like Mumbai they are not strong enough to bear his weight or tension in the web. Moreover, most of the crimes are not committed in and around them. This one thing saps most of the powers in Spiderman.

2) Assuming that enough skyscrapers are present so that Spiderman can go about his work, the problem that will arise will be of maintenance of the skyscrapers. Because of a very high crime rate, Spiderman will have to set out so frequently and throw so many webs on the buildings while flying by that it will be more of a nuisance. This will give rise to the maintenance money collected from the occupants of the skyscrapers.

3) No girl in India will be able to thank Spiderman with a hug let alone a kiss as this will trigger innumerable cases against Spiderman. This might even be demoralizing for him.

4) Some or the other political party will try to associate itself with Spiderman which might trigger brawls among various parties adding to the work of Spiderman.

5) All the news channels will be too obsessed with the stunts of Spiderman that other important news will be sidetracked.


*** I am aware that this list is not comprehensive and hence I invite readers to add to this list in their own innovative way.

****Weirdo, if you happen to come across this blog then please take it as a salutation to your out of the box thinking.