Taking responsibility... way to self-confidence

Earlier I was working as a part of a team where I was just following the already sketched plan and predefined procedures. It was easy to work on somebody elses' guidelines/plans as you dont own the outcome ( when it is not good :)) and moreso as you dont realize the effort and thought process put into the structuring the whole process.

But now when I am doing something completely on my own... things like defining the scope of the work, delineating the process and structure followed and the format of smallest of the documents used, I get to realize the importance and precision required while doing the whole task. All this is not very complicated and just requires a step by step approch. But the whole procees should be easy enough to be followed by a new joinee to the team. For this, taking into account several things before finalizing a path is important so that rework can be avoided and the whole task can be optimised with respect to time taken to complete the task.

While doing all this the importance of owning the task dawned to me. As I will be responsible for any glitch any rework any amount of wasted time ,etc.. It also is taking me to a structured way of doing everything which is reflected in my day to day activities. And being able to do all this with some amount of success helps to increase the repository of self-confidence. In a nutshell its going great... just try it out... own some task at your workplace...

Experiencing Vacuum...

In my school days I learnt what vacuum is... An enclosed area characterised by zero atm pressure is called as vacuum. It requires a good amount of effort and sound technology to suck out air from an enclosed area and create a condition that can be termed as vacuum. But I have experienced vacuum inspite of having access to any of the above.. yep!!! I dint employ a good amount of effort too :-) .
Following is the procedure to achieve this phenomenal task. But I recommend the experimenters to take extreme precautions before trying out the experiment!!! As the state that you are going to achieve might prove out to be very dangerous and requires lot of patience and sustained efforts ( afterwards :-) ) if one wants to get out of the state. Without having the confidence of springing back to normal life and resilience one should not attempt this.
So .. Vacuum..
" A state in professional life when the candidate ( one who gets to experience Vacuum ) is not alloted to any project and has no responsibilities to be disposed from the previous project/projects or when the candidate has switched her/his (I prefer to use HER first as it is commonly experienced bye gals) job and again is not alloted to any project or when the candidate is experiencing bench period is very near to or can be termed as a Vacuum "
The explanation of the above definition goes like this... the periods that I am refering to in the above definition are the basic requirements to achive this state. This is the kind of period when the candidate has maximum amount of time and ( most of the times ) no clue of things to be done in this period. A cluelessness of the impending project robs off all the sense and the candidate spends most of the time surfing and chatting till he accidently stumbles upon few areas/topics in which his interests gradually arises. That is the point when he indulges in some more research of those topics and decides to pursue them just to find some more enticing fields to study and ends up having very superficial knowledge about all of them. And before he can foray deeper into those interesting fields(devoting lesser time to surfing and chatting) he gets alloted to a busy project and hardly finds time to pursue his dreams. These concluding moments of the period that I have mentioned in the definition creats the required air pressure i.e. close to zero :-) and this is when the candidate experiences vacuum.

Thus the candidate gets very close to the process of learning(i.e. learning stuff apart form the regular work he dose) and adding great deal of value but looses the opportunity. This kind of condition leaves the candidate with a hollow feeling ... close to vacuum.

Now this can be achieved by the ways mentioned in the definition. I feel experiencing vacuum is must once in life time:-). The experience teaches the importance of time and value appreciation of self.

I guess my period is close to over....!!!! :-(

Whatever is written above is just bullshit/crap as I am still experiencing the Vacuum/Hollow feeling and a nonsense post like above is one of its symptoms..